This was originally posted on May 19, 2017, at 12:59 PM on Blogger.<\/p>\n
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On line dating.<\/p>\n
Despite there being millions of people signed into at least one such app or website at any given moment, there’s still some lingering stigma surrounding the process. I was one of those people who thought it was crazy. I still am, a little. But with everyone’s faces constantly pressed to a screen, or with voiceover in their ears, “how the hell else are we supposed to meet people?” as a friend once queried. But even online dating isn’t a fool proof way to get to know folks. And possibly find your one true love\/soul mate (if that’s your thing).<\/p>\n
Most of my conversations die after a few days. Even the ones that last longer eventually die. With that said, however, in the past year, I have gone on two app-initiated dates.<\/p>\n
The first, was, to put it mildly: atrocious. The guy played dominoes for hours-literally-while<\/i> my friend and I texted each other back-and-forth about the whole thing (I’d brought her along because, well, I was going on my first informal date with a stranger). The second was a few weeks ago, and it was, ehh. The guy and I talked for hours and then never spoke again.<\/p>\n
In between those times, I did meet a young man in person (he worked at CVS). But that didn’t work out either. He had way too much going on. And then, after disappearing for a few months, reappeared wondering if I’d treat him to lunch so we could talk. That thought wasn’t very appealing, especially since I’d begun to get a little bored before we’d stopped communicating.<\/p>\n
Over the last year and some change, I periodically forgot about or voluntarily stopped checking the two apps I was using (now only one). But when I returned, I would strike up conversations or respond to missed messages.<\/p>\n
The person this post involves, let’s call him Joe, had messaged me about a week or so ago. But my responses were usually a few days in coming because of school. But Wednesday was different. I was actively responding, and we’d taken our chat to one of those texting apps.<\/p>\n
Conversation was going well until he sent me a photo of himself. My response,, at the end of replying to his other messages was: also, fun fact, I’m visually impaired so pictures mean little to me.<\/i><\/p>\n
Now, I must admit, I always derive a sort of morbid pleasure from the “big reveal”. Most people seem to ignore my eyes, assuming their contacts, or just focusing on my chest (I’ve gotten a few messages wherein, shortly after starting a conversation, someone would mention something about my boobs). So I would bring up my vision whenever I felt the time was right\/an opportunity presented itself. Though there were a few times where I got a blunt “what’s up with your eyes”, or, more cautious, “so are those contact lenses”. Then they might ask “so how (the fuck) are you texting me?”-give or take the expletive.\u00c2 Or they’d ignore or gloss over it. and I would sometimes have to bring it up in later conversation because of the latter reasons.<\/p>\n
But this experience was different. After telling the guy my fun fact, he said:<\/p>\n
Oh<\/i> damn.<\/i>\u00c2 Followed shortly by: Um, I’m sorry I wasn’t prepared for that. I don’t think I do that.\u00c2 My dog is blind and I’m struggling with him. I don’t think I can do a relationship with a blind person.<\/i><\/p>\n
As I retype his words for your reading pleasure, something stands out to me now that I didn’t notice before. “I don’t think I do that”? What does that even mean?<\/i> It’s as though I asked him to do jumping jacks on a tight rope.<\/p>\n
In the moment, however, I was too focused on the second half of his message which prompted the following response:<\/p>\n
LOL, well, I’d like to put it out there that there is a difference between a blind person and pet but, I get it I suppose.<\/i><\/p>\n
My “lol” came from shocked amusement, further explained in the rest of my message. So, your pet is blind, and, because of this, you don’t feel you can date a blind human? But on the same token, I guess he doesn’t know how independent or dependent blind people are\/can be. His next message: I hope you understand my perspective sorry I just couldn’t imagine a life with you,<\/i> had me shuddering.<\/p>\n
Whoa.<\/i> First of all, who was talking about a life? I cringed a little mentally but didn’t voice my feelings. And our conversation continued for a few more messages, with me telling him that it was fine. And that\u00c2 I guessed it was a curveball for both of us; for him, it was learning I was blind and for me, well… I guess learning that he wasn’t okay with it.<\/p>\n